Songbook

Why where they born so beautiful
Why were they born so beautiful?
Why were they born at all?
They’re no bloody use to anyone
They’re no bloody use at all
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Here’s to the hares
Here’s to the hares
They’re true blue
They are hashers through and through
They are pisspots
So they say
But they’ll never get to Heaven cause they
Went the other way
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

And the hares
And the hares
And the hares
And the hares’ eeny dicky dy doo
Hang down to their knees
One black one
One white one
And one with a bit of
Shite on
And one with a fairy
Light on
To show us the way
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

She is alright
She’s all right
She’s all right
She’s a little flat chested
But she’s all right
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

He is the meanest
He’s the meanest
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest
He’s a horse’s assEver since he found it
All he does is pound it
He’s the meanest
He’s a horse’s ass
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the English
Rule Britannia
Marmalade and jam
Five Chinese crackers up your asshole
Bam bam bam bam bam
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the Australian
All Australians are born illegitimate
Born illegitimate
Born illegitimate
All Australians are born illegitimate
Bastards through and throughThey ain’t got no birth certificate
Birth certificate
Birth certificate
They ain’t got no birth certificate
Bastards through and through
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the American
Wanky Doodle went to town
Intent on masturbation
Stuck his member in a hole
And called it fornicationWanky Doodle keep it up
Wanky Doodle dandy
Mind the tissues and the oil
And keep your fingers handy
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the Dutch
Mafioso Mafioso
And their shoes are made of wood
All the Dutch are Mafioso
And they’d rob you if they could
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the French
A Frenchman went to the lavatoire
For to have a jolly good shit
He took his coat and trousers off
So that he could revel in it
But when he reached for the paper
He found that someone had been there before
Ou’ est le papier
Ou’ le papier
Monsieur
Monsieur
Je fai manure
Ou’ est le papier
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the German
Two world wars and one World Cup
Doo dah doo dah
Two world wars and one World Cup
And a hockey Gold
And a hockey Gold
And a hockey Gold
Two world wars and one world cup
And a hockey Gold
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the Indian
Two Pak wars and one World Bank
Doo dah doo dah
Two Pak wars and one World Bank
And a shooting Gold
And a shooting Gold
And a shooting Gold
Two Pak wars and one World Bank
And a shooting Gold
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the Canadian
Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk…..
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the New Zealander
Baaaaaaaaaaaah….
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Song for the Belgian
Ppppppppfffffffftttt!! (make windscreen wiper motion with finger against lips)
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Happy Birthday
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.
Drink it down down down down (DIDDDD)

Swing low sweet chariot
Swing low sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me homeI looked over Jordan
And what did I see?
Coming for to carry me home
A band of angels coming after me
Coming for to carry me homeSwing low sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home